Tuesday, January 02, 2007

The First Annual Athpy Awards

To start us off in '07, here's a little homage to the upcoming award show season.

Live from historic downtown Athens, Georgia, it's the First Annual Athpy Awards, celebrating excellence, or in some cases the obscene lack of it, in the world of Athens P(p)olitics.

[Insert ridiculously long/not funny song and dance opening number here.]

And now, she's your mayor, and he's the wild and crazy cowboy blogger behind the scenes making it happen; please welcome Heidi and Al Davison!

Al: Wow, honey, you sure do look "smoking" this evening.
Heidi: Smoking?! Gosh, I sure hope not. We're inside, and I sure wouldn't want to be in violation of the smoking ban. I'm cruising for a citation if I'm not careful.
Al: Did you say "cruising"? Because you know, there's an ordinance against that, too.
Heidi: Oh my! Well, while I slow down and cool off, here are the nominees for Best Political Race:

Solicitor General, runoff election
Mayor, runoff election
9th District Commissioner, general election

And the Athpy goes to: Solicitor General, runoff election!

[Insert similarly poorly written, lame, joky dialogues from presenters before each of the remaining awards.]

The nominees for Issue of the Year are:

La Puerta del Sol
The 3-laning of Prince Avenue
The Smoking Ban

And the Athpy goes to: La Puerta del Sol!

The nominees for Best Commissioner are:

Alice Kinman
David Lynn
Carl Jordan

And the Athpy goes to: Alice Kinman!

The nominees for Best Sore Loser Meltdown on a political blog:

Ed Vaughn on Athens Politics
Jeff Snowden on Athens Politics
Jeff Snowden on Winders' Blog

And the Athpy goes to: Jeff Snowden on Winders' Blog!
[sorry Ed, but the voting ended before your latest tirade...maybe next year!]

The nominees for Best Performance by a local Democrat-with-no-chance-in-hell-in-red-state-Georgia are:

Mac Rawson
Terry Holley
Jane Kidd

And the Athpy goes to: Mac Rawson!

The nominees for Most Obnoxious Commenter on a Political Blog are:

Chuck Jones

* Not sure which Anonymous? Me neither! Get a blogger ID, bitches!

And the Athpy goes to: Chuck Jones!

The nominees for Best Candidate in a Primary, General, or Runoff Election are:

Heidi Davison, runoff election for Mayor
Kelly Girtz, runoff election for 9th District Commissioner
David Sweat, general election for Superior Court Judge

And the Athpy goes to: David Sweat, general election for Superior Court Judge!

Congratulations, Athpy winners, and goodnight everybody! Let the comments begin!


retired_cowboy said...

While being honored to co-host the AthPy Award show, I have to say that I was a bit disappointed with the lack of a suitable gift basket in our dressing room. Wasn't there supposed to be a couple of Rolex watches or something? I'll have my agent call your agent and I'm sure we can clear up this oversight.

DoubleDawgDareYa said...

Yeah, sorry about that. It's our first rodeo, and we're still working out the kinks. We'll get you something.

retired_cowboy said...



Anonymous said...

You left out Becky Vaughn (v. Bob Smith) and her subsequent suck-stress-full coup d'etat of the Oconee County Democratic Committee - but I guess that is across the river in the other county

Chuck said...

I WIN!! I would like to thank all the little people who made this day possible. Thank you little people. I would like to thank the Cobbham people for being jerks and giving me a basis for winning. I would like to thank the Academy, as well as my beautiful campaign team of David and Juliet Ryan, who could not be here to share in this moment with me because they are caring for their newborn twins. Finally I would like to thank Elton Dodson, who wins tonight's special Pot and Kettle Award, furnished by the Oneida kitchen supplies corporation.

I also thank the judges for not forcing me to share the spotlight with David Lynn.

Anonymous said...

It just goes to show that Ed Vaughn is incapable of winning anything.

Charles said...

Has anyone else seen Al Gore's movie? I think he should be the next President of the United States.

retired_cowboy said...

Heidi and I got to see Al Gore present "Inconvenient Truth" live at the Mayor's Conference on Climate Change (that might not be the correct title) at the Sundance Resort in Utah. It was amazing! Mostly because Al Gore really does have a great personality and sense of humor in addition to being very knowledgable.

We also saw the movie version. The movie version was a bit more flushed out and polished.

I don't know if I agree about a Gore Presidential run in '08 although I think he'd make a great President (and almost anybody is going to look great following the buffoonary of the current Pretender in Chief). I'd love to see Gore get a cabinet post in the next administration - Secretary of the Interior? Energy?