The Flounder Files: Really?

Sigh. Why do I get the feeling that "really?" is a word I'll be using quite often with this guy?

So, another email from Rand "Flounder" Knight, candidate for U.S. Senate, fell into my inbox from an anonymous friend. Here's the headline:

Rand Knight leads new poll!

Stop the friggin' presses!!!!!!!!

So this Flounder guy, who hasn't even made it into any Georgia poll that I've seen, who hasn't even really made it into most of the news stories I've read about this race, is leading in a poll?

Really?

Hmm, this bears reading. Maybe I've judged him harshly. Maybe I've been under a political rock for the last few weeks and missed a sudden Flounder-surge.

Not so much, no.

The poll in question was an online poll (apparently fairly old) that was hosted on something called ADonkeyandanElephantWalkIntoaBar.com. (Long domain names much?) Apparently it's a social networking (translation: one step up from dating) site for the politically inclined.

And, the "lead" Rand brags about breaks down like this:
Rand Knight: 16.28%
Dale Cardwell: 11.63%
Vernon Jones: 0.00%

Hmm... I did go to public schools, but I know a little math. Enough to know that 16.28 + 11.63 + 0 = 27.91. And enough to know that 27.91 is less than 100%. Fortunately, the kids over at Blog for Democracy have the answers I see. (Those Atlanta folks - so bright and on top of their bloggin' stuff.) Sez Bernita:

Wyc Orr: 25.58%
Rand Knight: 16.28%
Dale Cardwell: 11.63%
Vernon Jones: 0.00%
Jim Marshall: 46.51%

So what you're saying is, Flounder is not so much leading, as he is trailing two guys who aren't even in the damn race (one of whom may not even be much of a Democrat) in a poll conducted on a social networking site?

Really?

Yeah, that's some shit to brag about, Flounder. Keep up the good work.

Get a load of this guy!

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm pleased to introduce you to Rand Knight, Democrat for U.S. Senate. You've probably never heard of ol' Rand. That's cool. For your background information, he's been in the Senate race for a handful of months and has just made the transition to actually being mentioned in newspaper stories.

Anyway, Rand Knight is not having the best week ever. First, he and his fellow candidates, Cardboard and Snuggles, got royally dissed by the national Democrats and state party chairwoman Jane Kidd. (Don't act so shocked folks, they're only saying what everybody knows - the candidates for U.S. Senate suck.)

Then, he decides to declare war on the AJC by launching into a whiny tirade over at Tondee's Tavern. JMac is all over this one like a hipster on a PBR.

Then, this afternoon, Jim Galloway and Bob Kemper over at the AJC's Political Insider delivered this hot, steaming nugget into my RSS reader. Rand has jumped on the bandwagon of 21st Century politics by making a bad YouTube video. Here you go.



Really? Ok, a few points to make here.

• His head looks extraordinarily, um...tall. That's a mega-noggin.
• "Technical and sales background." Really? Because voters really seem to like salesmen, right?
• Is it just me, or does his "southern accent" sound contrived? I don't mean a little exaggerated, I'm talking Nick Cage in "Con Air" bad. ("Put thuh bunneh in thuh bawx.")

Anyway, I never thought that I'd say this, but this guy makes me miss the political juggarnaut that was Cliff Oxford.

In the grand tradition of Tondee's Tavern and their candidate nicknames, I hereby christen Mr. Rand Knight....

FLOUNDER.

Really.

What do Chambliss and Isakson Have Against Georgia's Children?

The Senate passed an expanded SCHIP program 68-31 on Thursday. Georgia's Senators both voted no.

How can they possibly justify this? This is not a complicated issue. It's a really simple one. Either you believe that providing health care for all of Georgia's children is an important priority or you don't. Apparently Chambliss and Isakson believe that doing the bidding of a President that's barely hanging on is more important than doing what is right for Georgia's children.

Let's see if Georgia's voters agree with your priorities next year, Saxby.